I was really surprised at the answer I received as a result of a short prayer request that I made recently. I did not pray this prayer in the proper way, but I still got an answer. I did not "come boldly unto the throne of grace" to "obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need" (Heb.4:16); I came as if I were walking on egg shells. Then, timidly, halfheartedly--and hoping not to get an answer--I prayed the prayer that David prayed: "Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: and see if there be any wicked way in me . . ." (Ps.139:23, 24).

This prayer was prayed as if I were talking to someone on the phone and had hung up the receiver immediately after I finished speaking so that I would not have to listen to the answer. But . . . I still got one. It did not come to me immediately but over a number of weeks. I did not hear an audible voice with my physical ears; it was a gentle, small voice, deep in my spirit, that got this message through to me: "My child, I find in you a way of the prodigal son."

It is absolutely amazing how patient and kind my Heavenly Father is. It makes no sense at all for me not to want to hear anything He wants to tell me; for there is never any condemnation when He speaks to me, absolutely none, not one ounce. But sometimes there is a hurt that comes from being over loved. The kind of hurt I mean is the kind that feels good and brings about a healing. I don't know how to deal with such love from God. He loves you the same. How do you handle it?

The reason there is no condemnation from God to all who belong to Him is because Christ bore our judgment--all of it--on the cross! With that in mind, I am ready to let the Great Physician get on with the operation and cut the "wicked way" of the prodigal son out of my heart.

You may be thinking that you would not want to be in my shoes and face such an operation. Please, don't think that, but rather rejoice with me, because what is taking place is a good thing. I am finding the Lord so patient, so kind and so gentle that I want Him to operate on me. His pruning hook is a blessing for us, for He only cuts away what is harmful--that which prevents us from being fruitful. This walking in the "way of the prodigal son" is something I want out of my life. It is not good, for it hinders my relationship with God. I don't want to run away from such a wonderful service from the Great Physician. If He is kind enough to operate on me, I say, "Yes, Lord . . . do it!"

When I asked the Lord to search my heart to see if there was any wicked way in it, and He revealed that He found in me a way of the prodigal son, what did He mean? This problem I have is not chasing harlots; I love my wife too much to do that! Nor is it wasting my substance with riotous living; I love the new life God gave me too much to do that! The wicked way of the prodigal son that the Spirit of God revealed in me is: That I have been approaching my Heavenly Father like a servant rather than a son (as the prodigal in Luke, chapter 15, did when he returned to his father)--not knowing how He looks on me with favor; not knowing how He rejoices over me; not knowing how eager He is for me to spend time with Him; and not knowing how happy He is that I have received Christ and will be spending eternity with Him.

Compared to the behavior of the prodigal son while he was away from home, it seems as if he did a good thing when he decided to go back to his father and say, "Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee, and am no more worthy to be called thy son: make me as one of thy hired servants." In the same way, it appears to be good when a Christian is hung up on service and performance. But . . . let me tell you . . . when one who has been redeemed by the Blood of Christ relates to God as a servant rather than a son, it is a WICKED way to behave, for it disregards what Jesus did on the cross!

It is easier to turn away from sins of the flesh that look bad rather than the ones that appear to be good. It is difficult for Christians to listen when the Holy Spirit tells them that something they think is good in their life is frustrating the grace of God. (Like trying to live the Christian life in their own strength, rather than abiding in Christ [The Vine] so that His life may flow through them.)

I, like the prodigal, had been approaching the Father with the mentality of a servant rather than a son. Even my prayer and Bible study times have been too much in the mechanical service category. What I used to think was a good thing, I find the Lord now cutting out of my life.

My old programed prayers and systematic prayer times are being replaced with a spontaneous prayer life. The way I approach the Bible is being drastically altered; I can no longer find comfort in my old way of Bible reading. That old programed, mechanical, organized, traditional way of reading it is as useful to me now as an old wineskin! I still want to read the Bible often--not because I should, but rather because I want to. I have no use for schedules that instruct me how or when to read it. I am learning to get into the Scriptures as the Lord leads me, and I am finding that the Good Shepherd knows how to feed His sheep in a better way than me trying to force-feed myself.

I, like the prodigal son, have been thinking of working, while the Father has music and dancing on His mind (verse 25). I have had this cautious approach to God, subconsciously fearing rejection, while He can hardly wait for me to get close enough so He can embrace me! Let me tell you . . . I never expected Him to act this way towards me; this is almost more than I can take! I thought that, perhaps, when I get to Heaven and have my new body, I could expect something like this; but God is saying to me, "Now, my son . . . now!" There are many things we have to wait on the Lord for, but His love is not one of them!

The Great Physician is not only operating on me by cutting the wicked way of the prodigal son out of my life, but He is giving me a renewal of the mind at the same time--and I love it! Since He has been renewing my mind, many of my old views are changing.

People who still have one foot in the Old Covenant and one in the New will be shocked at this statement . . . but . . . I believe it is wrong for a born again Christian to ask God for forgiveness. Yes, I know, we still do sin after we are saved, and we should stop doing the foolish things we do in unbelief. The new creation does not sin; it cannot for it is the Spirit of Christ in us (1John 3:9). It is when we walk in the flesh that we sin. The Bible says, "The just shall live by faith" (Rom.1:17) and "for whatsoever is not of faith is sin" (Rom.14:23).

For many years after I received Christ, when I realized I had walked in the flesh and sinned, I would ask God to forgive me. Each time I asked, I had a little check in my spirit that I was doing something wrong. I would always know, even before I asked, that I was forgiven, but I thought I still should ask. Then, one day, a brother in Christ said to me, "Don't you believe the sacrifice of Jesus took away the sin of the world?" I replied, "Of course, I do!" He then said, "I don't mean He covered sin but that he blotted it out forever!" I wholeheartedly agreed with that. Then he said to me, "Then, if sin has been wiped out by the Blood of Christ, it has been taken care of and is no longer an issue, right?" "Absolutely right!" was my response. Again, I was in complete agreement with him. Then he spoke once more and said to me, "If you believe God has not only already forgiven you for sin but has done away with it, why do you keep asking Him for forgiveness?!"

From that moment on, my thinking has been changed about asking God for forgiveness. I do not ask anymore, "Father, forgive me my debts as I forgive my debtors," but now it is, "Help me to forgive others as You have already forgiven me" (Eph.4:32). There are times when I need to ask people to forgive me, but that is a whole different matter than asking forgiveness from God, for God's total forgiveness has been accomplished on the cross. The moment I received Jesus as my Savior, I knew God had forgiven me for ALL my sins--past, present and future. When I do something wrong now and say, "Oh God, forgive me," I can hear, deep within me, the words, "My child, I have forgiven you . . . don't you believe that? . . . look to the cross!"

Now I feel that if I ask God to forgive me, it is like asking Him to love me, and that is something I do not do for I know He already loves me! However, if I did ask Him to love me, I think I would hear the same words, "My child, I do love you . . . don't you believe that? . . . look to the cross!" When I do something now that I know is wrong, rather than asking God for forgiveness, I say, "Thank You Father for what You have done for me on the cross!" which is displaying my faith in the finished work of Christ!

But, I must confess, that is not always my first reaction. Would you believe what I did just this morning? I mean, I did this right in the middle of writing this message! The oil man came and made a delivery of heating fuel, and I had to make a payment in order to keep our oil bill from going higher than it already has. This put a dent in the small balance in my checkbook, and I found myself starting to worry (which is a foolish thing to do when my Heavenly Father, the Creator of the universe, told me in writing not to worry at all about such things, because He would take care of all my needs; and for me to seek first His kingdom and His righteousness [Mat.6:32,33]). When I realized I was beginning to worry, I said, "Forgive me Lord!" Then, when I caught myself, I wanted to say, "Forgive me" again for asking Him to forgive me. Finally, I decided to stop walking in the flesh and just praise God and get back to my writing. I realize this old flesh will never change for it cannot; it simply doesn't make any sense for me to walk in it.

In a way, I could say I repented for asking forgiveness. Now, that is a switch! Some think repentance is only connected with the salvation of the soul, as if when someone says you should repent it would indicate you are not saved. I see repentance as a gift from God to be used both before and after we are saved. The Greek word for "repent" is "metanoeo" which means "to think differently"; and, as time goes on, that is something I am finding I need to do often. I am also learning that true repentance for a Christian comes, not from a self-enforced change of behavior, but rather from the renewing of the mind.

I often wonder if the prodigal son really repented. The Bible does not tell whether he or his older brother ever did. It is true, the prodigal, after bringing disaster upon himself, did change his thinking about the rewards of a foolish, ungodly lifestyle; but he could do that with his own natural mind. It also did not take a divine revelation for him to know that food in the hog trough was not like the food on his father's table. What the son needed to think differently about was how his father related to him. He needed a change of mind about love and service. Somehow, the thoughts of his father toward him needed to get into his mind.

We assume we can learn spiritual truths by using the traditional educational process, when the Bible says to, "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding" (Prov.3:5). We can spend a lifetime studying the Scriptures and still be limited to our own thoughts. "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts" (Isa.55:8, 9). We need to think like our Heavenly Father, to have our thoughts replaced by God's thoughts. But we cannot do that on our own. It takes a renewing of the mind by the Holy Spirit.

Neither the prodigal son or his elder brother--who was so upset because his father welcomed back his wayward son (verses 28-30)--had the thoughts of their father. They were thinking about service, when the father had love on his mind for them. They wanted to earn; he wanted to give. Oh, do we children of God need a renewing of the mind! If only we could get our mind off of ourself and off of service and get it into the thoughts that our Heavenly Father has towards us!

Just look at the way the father acted when the prodigal drew near to him! Did you ever see anything like it? He didn't hear a word his son said about working as a servant; his thoughts were on his child. The father had plenty of servants, and he said to them, "Bring forth the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet: and bring hither the fatted calf, and kill it; and let us eat, and be merry" (verses 22 and 23).

God has created plenty of angels for service; He has created you for love! If you are thinking of your service to Him more than His love for you, then that wicked way of the prodigal son is also in you; and you need to repent (that is, to think differently), which will only happen when you get God's thoughts into your thoughts.

Angels are "ministering spirits, sent forth to minister for them who shall be heirs of salvation" (Heb.1:14). Your Heavenly Father wants you to be in a position for Him to say to the angels, "Bring the best robe" (our Robe of Righteousness, Isa.61.10), "Bring the ring" (our Marriage to Christ, Rev.19:7), "Bring the food" (our spiritual food, the Bread of Life, John 6:35), "Bring the shoes" (our walk with Jesus, Eph.6:15), and "Make merry and be glad"(Luke 15:22, 23).

We have plenty to be glad about if we know the love of the Father. Can you imagine how the prodigal son would have felt if he really knew the love and joy in his father's heart and mind for him? The thoughts of service would not even have entered his mind!

Many Christians have a problem realizing the love of God. Even eleven of the twelve disciples didn't grasp onto the love Jesus had for them. The Lord spoke personally to Peter about it (John 21:15). The one disciple who had the revelation was John who called himself "the disciple whom Jesus loved" (John 21:20). Now, the Lord loved them all; the difference was that John knew it! Why did he know it? Because he was the one who got so close to the Lord that he laid his head on His bosom (John 13:23) and heard the heartbeat of God! How about you? If you get close enough to Jesus to hear His heartbeat, you will know it is beating with love for you!

Some will say, "Yes, I want to have the thoughts of God in my mind. I will read this message over and over; if I can get it on a tape, I will listen to it again and again until it gets into my mind." But that is just the old work ethic. That kind of working on the mind reminds me of the subliminal meditation the world uses. The renewing of the mind cannot be accomplished by us; it is the work of the Great Physician. Our part is to give Him the go-ahead, for He will not force us into spiritual brain surgery.

Some Christians believe the renewing of the mind comes automatically with the new birth, but if that were so, the family of God would be, here on earth, more like they will be in Heaven. Recently, an anxious and frustrated woman who has been a Christian for many years, told me, "I have had my mind renewed!" But there is a big difference between having a head knowledge of God's truths and experiencing them. This mind-renewal I am referring to brings about a transformation into a life of resting in the care of the Father. It is not difficult to see when a mind has been renewed by the Spirit of God; it is as easy to identify as beautiful fruit on a healthy tree.

The care of the Father is given; it cannot be earned. Years ago, if anyone had told me that, I would have said, "I know that!!" Yet I really didn't. But when my Heavenly Father said to me, "My child, I find in you a way of the prodigal son," I realized I needed to repent (think differently) and not trust my own understanding, but get connected into the thoughts of God.

There is something we can do in preparation for this magnificent mind renewal; it is written in the Bible. It says, ". . . by the mercies of God . . . present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service" (Rom.12:1). That doesn't mean we should try to straighten up our life before we approach the Lord, but rather offer ourselves to Him as being completely righteous due to His finished work on the cross. In other words, live in the new creation. That makes sense. The only "reasonable" thing for us to do is to live in the new creation.

Next, the Bible says, "And be not conformed to this world" (Rom.12:2). That nonconformity does not come by the effort of our own resistance, for that has a failing point. Then how can we do it? We cannot. But we can let the Lord do it for us by renewing our minds: "But be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God" (Rom.12:2). The Greek word in this scripture verse for "prove" is "dokimazo" which means "to test, to examine, to try." Yes . . . that means you and I, by the renewing of the mind, can, in this life, enjoy living in the perfect will of God. What we need to be in the perfect will of God is a renewing of the mind.

After I gave the Great Physician the go-ahead to operate, to cut out of me that wicked way of the prodigal and do the spiritual brain surgery I needed, He did go to work on me; and because He is so gentle and skillful, I don't even know when the operation is taking place. But I do see some remarkable changes in my life; I am beginning to experience getting into the rest of my life!

I have found this mind-renewing a glorious operation that takes place little by little. I hope it never stops while I am here on earth. When I get my resurrection body in Heaven, I will have no need of a mind renewal.

Most of my life I have been a zealous worker for the Lord. I heard the call many years ago to work in the Harvest, but only about a year ago, I heard my Heavenly Father say, "You may work with Me." I still love to sow the gospel Seed anywhere and anytime, and sometimes I still rush ahead on my own; but since this renewal of the mind has begun, service seems to have been placed on the back burner of my mind.

Some of my friends may think I am becoming forgetful. The other day one asked me how the work was going, and I had to stop and think about it before I answered him. Then I said, "Oh . . . well . . . O.K. . . . I guess." How can I concentrate on evaluating how the work is going when these thoughts of my Father's love for me keep coming to my mind? I still love to be involved in the work of the Lord, but, lately, I have been hearing the sound of music and dancing in my Father's House!